# The only engineer in a business meeting..



## MartinD (Apr 4, 2014)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg

Fun times!


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## Amitz (Apr 4, 2014)

That is sooooo wonderful!!! 


I spent half of the week in meetings like this!


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## fapvps (Apr 4, 2014)

Awesome clip! Thanks!


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## Aldryic C'boas (Apr 4, 2014)

Ooooh, is it link-sharing time again? ^_^


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## MartinD (Apr 4, 2014)

No, it's really not. GTFO.


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## tchen (Apr 4, 2014)

Amitz said:


> That is sooooo wonderful!!!
> 
> 
> I spent half of the week in meetings like this!


You can do anything Amitz!


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## HalfEatenPie (Apr 4, 2014)

... This has happened so many times.

"Can you find the difference between ___ and ___?"

"No, because those two variables in no way have any relationship to each other because they're totally different to each other."

"Yeah but we need to make this graph."

"But the graph would be incorrect and serve no purpose because it doesn't express anything to begin with."

dfajksldf

They want to drive from Point A to Point B but Point B is on another continent.


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## Amitz (Apr 4, 2014)

tchen said:


> You can do anything Amitz!


Surely not... 
But after several days together with a bunch of people from a large multi-national corporation, that clip seemed to summarize it all! This is exactly how I felt, at least in a figurative sense.


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## Hxxx (Apr 4, 2014)

true...


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## Raymii (Apr 4, 2014)

All those red lines, drawn with transparant ink...


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## rds100 (Apr 4, 2014)

Just be careful not to cross any of the red lines. Especially the transparent ones ;-)


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## Packety (Apr 4, 2014)

haha, so true!


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## fixidixi (Apr 4, 2014)

I had to attend to a meeting like this today. True story..


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## D. Strout (Apr 4, 2014)

fixidixi said:


> I had to attend to a meeting like this today. True story..


I have never had the misfortune, but if it was truly like this, then what they're looking for is buzzwords. So give 'em what they want! How hard can it be to BS your way through with a bunch of buzzwords? Also "tech-speak" ass appropriate. If they ask for clarification, throw it right back at them: tell them to clarify what they originally asked. Chances are they won't be able to, and will "defer discussion to a later time". If they actually know what they're talking about, you're in business.


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## HalfEatenPie (Apr 4, 2014)

D. Strout said:


> I have never had the misfortune, but if it was truly like this, then what they're looking for is buzzwords. So give 'em what they want! How hard can it be to BS your way through with a bunch of buzzwords? Also "tech-speak" ass appropriate. If they ask for clarification, throw it right back at them: tell them to clarify what they originally asked. Chances are they won't be able to, and will "defer discussion to a later time". If they actually know what they're talking about, you're in business.


Haha while it is true they're basically saying buzz words (lets face it, they don't know what they're talking about and yet think they're more knowledgeable than the "expert"), it's part of the expert's job to clearly communicate with those non-expert/technical individuals in a way they understand and explain how it's not possible. 

Now of course if these individuals are incredibly dense you end up having to BS your way through it.  

Remember, these are the types of people who want you to setup ridiculous things in mere minutes.

"We want 10 laptops with the latest version of our software ready to show to our clients." "Great, sure I can get that done.  When do you need it by?"  "Oh I need it done in 10 minutes."  *insert sudden ass on fire* 

*VP Calls*

"Where are those laptops we asked for?" "They're just finishing up." "This really shouldn't take too long.  It's just pressing some buttons!" 

And... of course insert the usual "IT Department doesn't get funded very well because they're not the money-making portions of the company and usually act as a supporting entity to a business"

*end rant-ish*

I didn't work for an actual major company, but more for my University.  While people were usually more knowledgeable about the benefits and requirements of the IT department there were still the odd person who did not take security seriously or were rude to our consultants (basically people who help out with fixing computers).


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## tchen (Apr 4, 2014)

Or you could give them a budget.  120 trillion dollars for a rocket ship to the centre of a black hole where you could possibly get 7 lines all perpendicular to each other.  The little light that does escape would be red-shifted so it doesn't matter what colour the ink was.  Transparency might still be an issue, but we can add padding to the budget for that 

I find taking them seriously and giving them a real number to chew on tends to diffuse the situation.


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## blergh (Apr 5, 2014)

HalfEatenPie said:


> Haha while it is true they're basically saying buzz words (lets face it, they don't know what they're talking about and yet think they're more knowledgeable than the "expert"), it's part of the expert's job to clearly communicate with those non-expert/technical individuals in a way they understand and explain how it's not possible.
> 
> Now of course if these individuals are incredibly dense you end up having to BS your way through it.
> 
> ...


I really don't understand situations like these. Why not just stand up for yourself and tell them how things are done and why instead of being buttraped into doing shit with unrealistic timeframes/resources. You got hired by them because you know the stuff that they don't, so go show them.


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## wlanboy (Apr 5, 2014)

Funny clip - but it shows how important it is to speak the language of the stackholders.


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## HalfEatenPie (Apr 5, 2014)

blergh said:


> I really don't understand situations like these. Why not just stand up for yourself and tell them how things are done and why instead of being buttraped into doing shit with unrealistic timeframes/resources. You got hired by them because you know the stuff that they don't, so go show them.


It wasn't bad really.  I mean those are obviously just the "extreme" incidents I had there.  Wasn't bad.


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## NodeWest-Dan (Apr 5, 2014)

blergh said:


> I really don't understand situations like these. Why not just stand up for yourself and tell them how things are done and why instead of being buttraped into doing shit with unrealistic timeframes/resources. You got hired by them because you know the stuff that they don't, so go show them.


I wish the corporate world worked like that.


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## Aldryic C'boas (Apr 5, 2014)

blergh said:


> I really don't understand situations like these. Why not just stand up for yourself and tell them how things are done and why instead of being buttraped into doing shit with unrealistic timeframes/resources. You got hired by them because you know the stuff that they don't, so go show them.


That's not how the real world works.  Informing senior management of their ignorance, no matter how gently worded, is typically a one-way ticket out the door.


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