# I can't believe we weren't deported.



## Aldryic C'boas (Oct 22, 2013)

I finally had a chance to sit down and put together some of the better (read: more amusing) pictures from our cruise.  Out of the ~600 or so between all of us, I picked these to help tell a short story of how things went, and to share our antics.

Airport security is a bit... mortified at how we greeted each other upon arrival.







Leaving the airport before security has an absolute fit, we catch a cab and head over to the boat:











Words don't really do justice to just how MASSIVE this thing was.






The name on the lifeboats did not instill much confidence >_>









But the view as we were leaving was pretty breathtaking.






(Left to Right) Fran, Matt, myself, and my wife Kristi gather on the deck as we explore the ship.  Of course, first thing I found was a bar >_> (seriously... every deck had at least two bars.  I never went more than 20 feet without a drink in hand)






We had a pretty hard time trying to figure out how spilled enamel and an aggressive cumshot could be considered 'art' <_<






Found these waiting in our rooms.  Wasn't quite sure what to make of it - the folks cleaning the rooms would continue to troll us with these in various forms over the course of the trip.






First real vacation in ages, and the first thing Fran does?  TO THE INTERNET.

(yes, those are like 20 packs of Chicklets on his desk)






Relaxing after a nice day.  The boat was mostly old folks and middle-aged parents - we were pretty much guaranteed a hottub to ourselves after 2300h or so each night.






First actual stop on the cruise... Haiti.  Karen (left) and Kristi pose while we try to figure out how pictures work.






Matt making advances on a tree in Haiti.  We couldn't show pictures of what happened after >_>






Probably my favourite pic of the entire batch.  The tour guides were giving us some funny looks after that one.






Goddammit... we get back to our rooms, and these things are back.






At the market in Jamaica.  We sit down and have some lunch waiting on the tour to start.  Tortuga rum is absolutely delicious.






That bottle got passed around like a drunk stripper.






Polishing off lunch, getting ready to head out.






"Goddammit, we're gonna get arrested"






Seriously, that bottle just followed us everywhere >_>

*to be continued in the next post


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## Aldryic C'boas (Oct 22, 2013)

* continued from the previous post






The Jamaica that you see as a tourist is pretty much walled off from the rest of the country. On the bus ride out, we saw a glimpse of the real Jamaica - rampant poverty, incredibly sketchy neighborhoods. Rather surprised we didn't get shot at.






We tried so hard to get Fran to wear these >_>






So there was this group activity thing where everyone tried to sing a "traditional Jamaican song". None of us could stop laughing long enough to actually sing >_>






Beautiful view at the plantation we visited. The tour guide was pretty much cheering us on every time a bottle came out by this point >_>






"This is where you will eat, mon!" "Haha, nope." Seriously though, they had some pretty good food.






None of us got a very good shot of this guy... but he bore a very creepy resemblance to Snoop Dog.






Back on the boat, Fran does his birthday dance. Should've gotten a video of this one >_>












Morning after... we're pretty much all recovering from the day prior.






By that afternoon, Matt's feeling well enough to hit the rock wall on the boat. Shouting "THE DEA IS HERE" from the deck gave him a nice boost of speed >_>






Further inspection of the candy store revealed that they apparently served anal beads as well. The guy working there didn't like us very much >_>






Cozumel, Mexico. Fran and I buy a pair of matching slave-owner hats, and proceed to offend everyone >_>






An undersea tour of the Cozumel reef.






Fran was less than thrilled when Matt's lactose-intolerance played up, while trapped in a small underwater cabin >_>









The shops were pretty damn amusing.






Fran gets molested by a Mexican clown >_>









I've never seen two people so unhappy with ridiculously large drinks. Must've been the clown.






The shops get even more... interesting.






Matt finds Nirvana. We contemplate getting Viagra for when we go through security coming home.






"Man, the Mexicans were freakin _tiny_ way back then"

All in all, the trip was fantastic. Aside from a few minor bumps (mostly involving food on the ship >_>), we all had a blast. And Fran's first act upon us getting back to the states? "Gotta start planning the next trip"


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## MannDude (Oct 22, 2013)

Looks like it was a fun time!


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## Ruchirablog (Oct 22, 2013)

Nice pics. I bet bz is jealous now


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## peterw (Oct 23, 2013)

Thanks for sharing the pix. Do you need a rest from your holidays?


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## nunim (Oct 23, 2013)

Did you fly into FLL?  That airport carpet looks very familiar!  You know you've flown too much when you can recognize your home airport by the carpeting.

I went on the Allure with my wife last year after a really bad Carnival Cruise (my fault, not carnivals), you can't hate on the towel animals!  Those cheeky buggers always used to steal my shades and my wife wouldn't let me take them apart when I needed a towel, but they are cute...  Towel Elephants 4 life!!

My favorite part of cruising, besides being able to be as loud as you want in your room..., is the food! Free (sorta) food, and it's all pretty yummy and available all the time! I have to say I was quite disappointed by the room service on the Allue though, the menu was pretty crap and the stuff that I tried wasn't that great.


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## rds100 (Oct 23, 2013)

Aldryic doesn't look russian at all  Apart from the bottle.


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## Enterprisevpssolutions (Oct 23, 2013)

Great pic Looks like you guys had a blast. Now I need one after all that  opcorn:


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## HalfEatenPie (Oct 23, 2013)

Wow! Fantastic trip! I wouldn't mind seeing matt get frisky with some more wood (if you know what I mean... this is a joke).

Also Fran got molestered? Even BETTER.

Also pretty jealous with the bottle of rum.


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## imperio (Oct 23, 2013)

Guys, thanks for sharing some social stuff.


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## Francisco (Oct 23, 2013)

Bahahaha!

I completely forgot about the towel dance.

These pictures are hilarious 

Francisco


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## Damian (Oct 23, 2013)

Oh man, I laughed louder than is appropriate in an office setting at some of these.

I want to take a company cruise now dammit.


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## lifetalk (Oct 23, 2013)

Quite an amusing batch of pics there


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## RiotSecurity (Oct 23, 2013)

I couldn't stop laughing. 

Also, those stores, lmfao.


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## Francisco (Oct 23, 2013)

It was a lot of fun.

I'm thinking Japan for the next trip but we'll have to see.

Francisco


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## RiotSecurity (Oct 23, 2013)

Francisco said:


> It was a lot of fun.
> 
> 
> I'm thinking Japan for the next trip but we'll have to see.
> ...


Take MannDude with you, he needs a vacation.


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## eva2000 (Oct 23, 2013)

Francisco said:


> Bahahaha!
> 
> 
> I completely forgot about the towel dance.
> ...


LOL towel dance FTW

thanks for sharing your holiday photos with us


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## HostUS-Alexander (Oct 23, 2013)

Nice pictures Looked like you has a blast!


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## Amitz (Oct 23, 2013)

Aldryic! You look a bit like Oliver Hardy!


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## MannDude (Oct 23, 2013)

RiotSecurity said:


> Take MannDude with you, he needs a vacation.


Yeah!

Even though I went to Vegas earlier this year for a few days, the Bahamas for a couple weeks and spent a couple days in Memphis this year already. But I'll go! My buddy is in Japan right now anyhow living on a barge in some Naval dock. Would be nice to chill with him again.


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## Francisco (Oct 23, 2013)

_Please lord, let my liver make it through this._

>_>

Francisco


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## Aldryic C'boas (Oct 23, 2013)

Pretty sure my liver is still passed out on the boat somewhere >_>


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## fixidixi (Oct 23, 2013)

Well its nice that finally i can put a face to ur nicks


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## RiotSecurity (Oct 23, 2013)

Aldryic, Francisco: favorite drink when you guys were down there?


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## Francisco (Oct 23, 2013)

RiotSecurity said:


> Aldryic, Francisco: favorite drink when you guys were down there?


Gingerale.

I don't drink booze, never have 

Francisco


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## nunim (Oct 23, 2013)

Francisco said:


> Gingerale.
> 
> 
> I don't drink booze, never have
> ...


Seriously?  On a cruise without booze?  I don't really like drinking, but when you're on a cruise..

When in Rome, do as the Romans do, in this case that means finding a bar right when you get on the ship and sign your name for whatever the drink special of the day is.


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## Aldryic C'boas (Oct 23, 2013)

Oh, we made up for his lack of drinking   My preference was straight rum.  Then they had the "6 drinks for 20$" special, and I think we put away like 30 screwdrivers in one night.


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## Jade (Oct 23, 2013)

That sure looked like a fun trip


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## ryanarp (Oct 23, 2013)

Looks like you guys had a lot of fun, It has been a while since I have gone on a cruise. Need to make that happen soon.


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## RiotSecurity (Oct 23, 2013)

Francisco said:


> Gingerale.
> 
> 
> I don't drink booze, never have
> ...


You should employee MannDude just for a few days before you go on your next trip, then it will be a "company" trip.

Problem solved.


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## Francisco (Oct 23, 2013)

ryanarp said:


> Looks like you guys had a lot of fun, It has been a while since I have gone on a cruise. Need to make that happen soon.


The thing with a cruise is that you need to have a group of people or get the unlimited booze pass. If it was just me alone? I would have been bored out of my mind on the 'sea' days. Even if it was just 2 people it'd get pretty boring unless you're married and actually have a sex life.

As a group, though, I had a blast watching the other 4 people get pretty drunk. No one was pissed drunk but they did loosen up some.

Francisco


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## imperio (Oct 23, 2013)

Francisco said:


> Even if it was just 2 people it'd get pretty boring unless you're married and actually have a sex life.


Fran, It seems you need a girlfriend asap


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## Francisco (Oct 23, 2013)

imperio said:


> Fran, It seems you need a girlfriend asap


True but I'm not losing sleep over it ;p The company is in a great position right now so I could start focusing on losing the 20 - 30 pounds I need to lose.

Francisco


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## imperio (Oct 23, 2013)

Francisco said:


> True but I'm not losing sleep over it ;p The company is in a great position right now so I could start focusing on losing the 20 - 30 pounds I need to lose.
> 
> 
> Francisco


Well, the amount of money can easily hide your pounds but its always better to have both issue fixed


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## HalfEatenPie (Oct 23, 2013)

I FOUND THE SECRET.

Aldryic is secretly a towel bunny.

Proof:






In this picture, the towel bunny has sunglasses on.






In this picture, the sunglasses are now on Aldryic's head.

IS THIS JUST COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT! Upon further examining the picture of the towel bunny you can in fact see a bottle of rum in it's hands! (Insert cool CSI Picture of zooming in)

I'M ON TO YOU, YOU TOWEL BUNNY SUNGLASSES ALCOHOLIC!


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## WelltodoInformalCattle (Oct 23, 2013)

Seems like you all had one hell of a time down there.


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## Francisco (Oct 24, 2013)

HalfEatenPie said:


> I FOUND THE SECRET.
> 
> Aldryic is secretly a towel bunny.
> 
> ...






Francisco


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## HalfEatenPie (Oct 25, 2013)

Francisco said:


>


http://youtu.be/NDKG2R2YkOg?t=50s

I have no regrets


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## SPINIKR-RO (Oct 25, 2013)

I would be interested in the experience in Haiti guys. I have spent a good deal of time on the other side of the fence there. Photo ( on top prior to driving down behind the cruise port of call. http://www.flickr.com/photos/roganschlassa/5858252287/in/set-72157626667314555


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## Francisco (Oct 25, 2013)

SPINIKR-RO said:


> I would be interested in the experience in Haiti guys. I have spent a good deal of time on the other side of the fence there. Photo ( on top prior to driving down behind the cruise port of call. http://www.flickr.com/photos/roganschlassa/5858252287/in/set-72157626667314555


To be honest I thought we were going to make port at the capital, not go to a private resort.

I think there are cruises that do that, but you have to pick the right time. For us? We just went with when everyone had enough time.

Francisco


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## SPINIKR-RO (Oct 25, 2013)

Francisco said:


> To be honest I thought we were going to make port at the capital, not go to a private resort.
> 
> 
> I think there are cruises that do that, but you have to pick the right time. For us? We just went with when everyone had enough time.
> ...


Ya the company leases that land and has it fenced in, They pay for a mock town where you can take a bus tour but the people who live there are shipped in every day.

There is a big trash dump behind the resort that is guarded off and the workers go in there and get food . Lots of chick on a bone gets wrapped up out of the trash as most people dont finish a drum stick. =)


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## SPINIKR-RO (Oct 25, 2013)

The mock town and in the distance is your ship and the port entry http://www.flickr.com/photos/roganschlassa/5753939338/in/set-72157626667314555

I got to the resort area before the feeling of unwelcome was present. =)


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## Francisco (Oct 25, 2013)

SPINIKR-RO said:


> The mock town and in the distance is your ship and the port entry http://www.flickr.com/photos/roganschlassa/5753939338/in/set-72157626667314555
> 
> I got to the resort area before the feeling of unwelcome was present. =)


That is insane.

Thanks for the heads up!

Jamaica doesn't have that going on as much. While there is the resort area to shop, any sort of outside tours take you right through the country.

I would have rather given money to the locals than pretty much just feeding it back into the cruise line itself.

Francisco


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## Rob T (Oct 25, 2013)

I'm getting ready to take Mrs. Rob T on a cruise in December.  Will be our longest vacation in a decade.  We are going on the Oasis' twin sister ship, the Allure of The Seas.

I notice you failed to answer the absolute most important question (unless I missed it) - how was the Internet on the ship?

This is how vacations are planned in the Rob T household:

Step 1 - conversation:

Mrs. Rob T:  "Honey, i want to take a trip to Antigua"

Rob T (not actually paying attention):  "Ok, that sounds like fun.  We should do that.  Go ahead and book the trip."

Step 2:  Mrs. Rob T books travel.

Step 3:  After forgetting about the trip until 2 weeks prior to departure, discover through extensive Google searching that none of my various hot spots or connected devices will actually WORK in Antigua, or I that I have to add the "super premium international data plan" to my phone which is available at the bargain price of $10 per KB.


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## Francisco (Oct 25, 2013)

> I notice you failed to answer the absolute most important question (unless I missed it) - how was the Internet on the ship?


Pretty good. The signal was strong and it gave pretty good connectivity. I was able to get on XMPP, SSH, etc. It was laggy since it was a satellite link, but it was still workable.

You pay by the minute, no GB limit. You can pay $150 for 500 minutes. You sign in/out as you need.

They require you to login to a portal to register your mac which sucks. It only worked nicely on IE for me on Windows. Aldryic was able to use firefox on debian w/o issue.

Francisco


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## Rob T (Oct 25, 2013)

That's good to know.  As long as SSH works, I'm generally happy.  I remember it being more expensive on the last cruise I took - somewhere around $0.40 per minute.  I think my Internet bill on that cruise was more than my bar tab...


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## MannDude (Oct 25, 2013)

Rob T said:


> That's good to know.  As long as SSH works, I'm generally happy.  I remember it being more expensive on the last cruise I took - somewhere around $0.40 per minute.  I think my Internet bill on that cruise was more than my bar tab...


It's expensive if you don't buy a package. On Carnival last year it waslike $0.70/minute. Needless to say I was on vacation and didn't want to use the internet, so didn't. But obviously if you have work related things to check in on from time to time, it's worth keeping in the loop. I'd not want to take my laptop on shore because, well, it's a vacation! But I'm sure you can find places with free wifi. But I'd rather have my feet in the sand in a beer in my hand or be touring old forts and stuff.


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## Rob T (Oct 25, 2013)

I think I bought 500 minutes last time, but I remember it being around $200.  I think it was around a $1 per minute without a package.

Oh, important safety tip - don't forget to close your browser when you walk out of the room.  That was an expensive mistake.

Unfortunately a vacation without Internet access just isn't in the cards for me.  Gotta keep the network running for Fran and the rest of the crew


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## Francisco (Oct 25, 2013)

Rob T said:


> I think I bought 500 minutes last time, but I remember it being around $200.  I think it was around a $1 per minute without a package.
> 
> Oh, important safety tip - don't forget to close your browser when you walk out of the room.  That was an expensive mistake.
> 
> Unfortunately a vacation without Internet access just isn't in the cards for me.  Gotta keep the network running for Fran and the rest of the crew


Once you're on a package it doesn't put you back to the 'per minute' billing, it simply doesn't work until you change your package or get another one.

You have to go to their 'business area' which is just a small room with some computers for you to swipe your card and register an account. Once you're registered you tell it what package you want and off you go.

pay-as-you-go is $0.68/minute on the Oasis and it drops to like $0.30/minute at the top package.

Fun fact, it looks like DNS traffic routes through w/o filtering so if you feel like having fun, you could probably throw an OpenVPN on UDP port 53 and have at it 

Francisco


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## Francisco (Oct 25, 2013)

We forgot to mention that the Nathan's we had in Jamaica was the most overpriced meal to date.

I bought 2 corn dogs as a meal, Aldryic had 2 hot dogs, his wife had a single hotdog, and the total was ~$50.

Matt bought some quiznos and it was $20 or so.

Francisco


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## Aldryic C'boas (Oct 25, 2013)

The rum was delicious, though <_<


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## Francisco (Oct 25, 2013)

Aldryic C said:


> The rum was delicious, though <_<


... I didn't know Nathan's sold liquid meals >_>

Francisco


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## Aldryic C'boas (Oct 25, 2013)

Well, chugging a fifth of rum on land within the space of a few hours was significantly cheaper than the drinks on the boat


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## wlanboy (Oct 26, 2013)

MannDude said:


> Needless to say I was on vacation and didn't want to use the internet, so didn't.
> 
> I'd not want to take my laptop on shore because, well, it's a vacation!
> 
> But I'd rather have my feet in the sand in a beer in my hand or be touring old forts and stuff.


True words.


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## EricGregory (Nov 7, 2013)

Rum is like dating a really hot girl who happens to be a complete psychopath.  Great one minute then the next she's throwing a flaming brick through your window.  

That's the kinda relationship I have with rum.


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## Aldryic C'boas (Nov 7, 2013)

That just means you need to drink more. A wise man once shared with me the ultimate hangover remedy:


1 - Never stop drinking.


EOF


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