Wow what a nice person. You should marry her the first time you get the chance.I'm fine and thanks for the kind messages.
The undertones of being called a scammer were not well received hence my reply. A message on the thread asking others if they'd had problems without posting messages or dropping the sarcasm bomb would have been more pertinent and alleviated any fears.
However, as my wife is an amazingly wonderful and supportive woman, she had arranged for it to be shipped while I was away. This rather flies in the face of my "zero fucks given" attitude. A bit annoying but of course, as always, she's right. She has, however, been banned from doing shit that make me look more human.