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Secure Dragon LLC Announces A New Product Line

KuJoe

KuJoe

Well-Known Member
Verified Provider
A while back we asked our clients what service they most wanted to see Secure Dragon offer and an overwhelming number of you asked demanded that we offer something less secure and less scary. We scratched our heads and tried to figure out what exactly that meant, we brainstormed to come up with the ultimate solution. Today we are proud to announce our new product line that should dry up those tears and ease those sleepless nights.

 

We present to you, our new RelaxedBunny brand.

 

It took us many many many meetings to decipher the requests of our clients, but here we are with the service you've been asking for. It's the most relaxed, cute, and comforting VPS to date and should satisfy the needs of even the most laid back of users.

 

We invite all of you to visit RelaxedBunny.com and see for yourself just how good it feels to relax.
 
I

iWF-Jacob

New Member
Verified Provider
Wow, looks great. I'll think about buying one next year maybe since I'm so excited!

BTW: I was too lazy to read the whole thing, how much is it?
 
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wlanboy

wlanboy

Content Contributer
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Wow, you really are relaxed...

I want to buy it but your order form ist not loading  :huh:
 
K

KwiceroLTD

New Member
Verified Provider
Do you support relaxed Nigerian Prince spam notification of large sums of money available?
 
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KuJoe

KuJoe

Well-Known Member
Verified Provider
EMERGENCY UPDATE!

As of 11:59PM MST on 4/1/2015, Secure Dragon LLC. is no longer associated with RelaxedBunny.com after we were informed via text message that they will no longer be provisioning VPSs. After multiple attempts to reach somebody by phone, we sent somebody over to their office (which ended up being a giant room with more pillows than we ever imagined). When asked why they are no longer provisioning VPSs, one tech drooled on his pillow and pulled the blanket over his head. The supervisor was located, but his response was "What are you doing? It's too bright, turn the lights off."

It appears that the demand for the service was too great and in the end their relaxed nature became their undoing. We've realized the error in our ways and we promise going forward that we will never become relaxed (nor will we turn into bunnies) and even the best planned ideas can backfire. Hopefully those clients who have ordered your VPSs from them will either get a refund or compensated with one of their many pillows.

During the brief period they were in operation, they received 572 orders of which 7.8 VPSs were provisioned (the .8 is for a VPS that was created but the tech never clicked the "Send" button so the client was never informed their VPS was ready). They also received about 62 new testimonials about how great the service was (despite only having delivered 7 VPSs total) and about 1107 e-mails complaining that their order form was not loading. 

We are saddened by the events that unfolded today and we will be sure that in the future we will properly research any new projects and screen all future employees. Thank you for your understanding and Happy April Fools! :)

-The Secure Dragon Staff
 
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