I can't believe we weren't deported.

Aldryic C'boas

The Pony
I finally had a chance to sit down and put together some of the better (read: more amusing) pictures from our cruise.  Out of the ~600 or so between all of us, I picked these to help tell a short story of how things went, and to share our antics.

Airport security is a bit... mortified at how we greeted each other upon arrival.



Leaving the airport before security has an absolute fit, we catch a cab and head over to the boat:





Words don't really do justice to just how MASSIVE this thing was.



The name on the lifeboats did not instill much confidence >_>



But the view as we were leaving was pretty breathtaking.



(Left to Right) Fran, Matt, myself, and my wife Kristi gather on the deck as we explore the ship.  Of course, first thing I found was a bar >_> (seriously... every deck had at least two bars.  I never went more than 20 feet without a drink in hand)



We had a pretty hard time trying to figure out how spilled enamel and an aggressive cumshot could be considered 'art' <_<



Found these waiting in our rooms.  Wasn't quite sure what to make of it - the folks cleaning the rooms would continue to troll us with these in various forms over the course of the trip.



First real vacation in ages, and the first thing Fran does?  TO THE INTERNET.

(yes, those are like 20 packs of Chicklets on his desk)



Relaxing after a nice day.  The boat was mostly old folks and middle-aged parents - we were pretty much guaranteed a hottub to ourselves after 2300h or so each night.



First actual stop on the cruise... Haiti.  Karen (left) and Kristi pose while we try to figure out how pictures work.



Matt making advances on a tree in Haiti.  We couldn't show pictures of what happened after >_>



Probably my favourite pic of the entire batch.  The tour guides were giving us some funny looks after that one.



Goddammit... we get back to our rooms, and these things are back.



At the market in Jamaica.  We sit down and have some lunch waiting on the tour to start.  Tortuga rum is absolutely delicious.



That bottle got passed around like a drunk stripper.



Polishing off lunch, getting ready to head out.



"Goddammit, we're gonna get arrested"



Seriously, that bottle just followed us everywhere >_>

*to be continued in the next post
 
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Aldryic C'boas

The Pony
* continued from the previous post



The Jamaica that you see as a tourist is pretty much walled off from the rest of the country. On the bus ride out, we saw a glimpse of the real Jamaica - rampant poverty, incredibly sketchy neighborhoods. Rather surprised we didn't get shot at.



We tried so hard to get Fran to wear these >_>



So there was this group activity thing where everyone tried to sing a "traditional Jamaican song". None of us could stop laughing long enough to actually sing >_>



Beautiful view at the plantation we visited. The tour guide was pretty much cheering us on every time a bottle came out by this point >_>



"This is where you will eat, mon!" "Haha, nope." Seriously though, they had some pretty good food.



None of us got a very good shot of this guy... but he bore a very creepy resemblance to Snoop Dog.



Back on the boat, Fran does his birthday dance. Should've gotten a video of this one >_>



Morning after... we're pretty much all recovering from the day prior.



By that afternoon, Matt's feeling well enough to hit the rock wall on the boat. Shouting "THE DEA IS HERE" from the deck gave him a nice boost of speed >_>



Further inspection of the candy store revealed that they apparently served anal beads as well. The guy working there didn't like us very much >_>



Cozumel, Mexico. Fran and I buy a pair of matching slave-owner hats, and proceed to offend everyone >_>



An undersea tour of the Cozumel reef.



Fran was less than thrilled when Matt's lactose-intolerance played up, while trapped in a small underwater cabin >_>



The shops were pretty damn amusing.



Fran gets molested by a Mexican clown >_>



I've never seen two people so unhappy with ridiculously large drinks. Must've been the clown.



The shops get even more... interesting.



Matt finds Nirvana. We contemplate getting Viagra for when we go through security coming home.



"Man, the Mexicans were freakin tiny way back then"

All in all, the trip was fantastic. Aside from a few minor bumps (mostly involving food on the ship >_>), we all had a blast. And Fran's first act upon us getting back to the states? "Gotta start planning the next trip" :p
 
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nunim

VPS Junkie
Did you fly into FLL?  That airport carpet looks very familiar!  You know you've flown too much when you can recognize your home airport by the carpeting.

I went on the Allure with my wife last year after a really bad Carnival Cruise (my fault, not carnivals), you can't hate on the towel animals!  Those cheeky buggers always used to steal my shades and my wife wouldn't let me take them apart when I needed a towel, but they are cute...  Towel Elephants 4 life!!

My favorite part of cruising, besides being able to be as loud as you want in your room..., is the food! Free (sorta) food, and it's all pretty yummy and available all the time! I have to say I was quite disappointed by the room service on the Allue though, the menu was pretty crap and the stuff that I tried wasn't that great.
 
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HalfEatenPie

The Irrational One
Retired Staff
Wow! Fantastic trip! I wouldn't mind seeing matt get frisky with some more wood (if you know what I mean... this is a joke).

Also Fran got molestered? Even BETTER.

Also pretty jealous with the bottle of rum.
 

Francisco

Company Lube
Verified Provider
Bahahaha!

I completely forgot about the towel dance.

These pictures are hilarious :p

Francisco
 

MannDude

Just a dude
vpsBoard Founder
Moderator
Take MannDude with you, he needs a vacation.
Yeah!

Even though I went to Vegas earlier this year for a few days, the Bahamas for a couple weeks and spent a couple days in Memphis this year already. But I'll go! My buddy is in Japan right now anyhow living on a barge in some Naval dock. Would be nice to chill with him again.
 
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