Very expensive internet + very slow connection = 100% no-work vacation
I'm a big fan of cruising as well. It's just so relaxing and is my ideal vacation. You can do NOTHING at all or you can do a lot. Cruises have a ton of activities.
For me, I'd get up often before the sun rise or during it and enjoy breakfast on the deck and just stare at the ocean. Come 10AM or so, get a memosa or two... and just walk around. Nap in a chair or a hammock. If the boat is docking that day you get to walk around some place you've never been before for 4 - 10 hours depending on where and what cruise. Can go shopping, go tour old ruins, go to the local bars, go lay on the beach... whatever. Then you get back on the boat, eat a good dinner, and do whatever you want. Night life, gamble, relax, watch a movie... It's great.
Went on an 8 day cruise a few years ago and was honestly the last time I went more than 48 hours with no internet access. I wasn't going to pay the outrageous price for slow on-board internet. I had a couple books with me and would read when bored, but mostly enjoyed the time to relax and be alone.
My favorite place on the ship was sort of a hidden gem. It was on the lowest deck and it was off limits I think but the doors were always unlocked so I'd always go down there to smoke and relax. I never once saw anyone else down there so it was a good quiet getaway.
I'd go down there at night, bring a full Long Island Iced Tea with me and just relax. Was nice to get away from people and be alone without being couped up in the room. Standing by the railings you could get splashed by the water since it was the lowest deck to the surface.